Donell is a thoughtful human, taking almost 40 minutes to answer the few written questions you see below. He even pondered at his name for a good 5 minutes before crossing it out, before finally telling me to “delete my government name”. Alas, the interview finally began only to be interrupted by an woman kindly sharing a copy of Kohl Social, a magazine for the 'under represented in fashion, beauty, culture and lifestyle.' Prone to distraction, especially the good kind, we flicked through an article or three before heading in for attempt 2, so here we go.
Congratulations on becoming a film graduate last summer! Firstly, looking back at that experience did you feel more prepared going or leaving?
I was equally unprepared for both.
Feels. What have you been doing for the first few months after you got spat out into the world?
Me and my friends had a plan to rent a studio for the summer, to get our project done. That wasn't bad but it wasn’t the greatest of studios, so it wasn’t motivating to go every day. But it was cool to work on ideas and treat it as if it was your 9-5. I'm not in a rush to jump into anything.
It is nice to suddenly have time to nurture your visions. Was there anything you wish you knew before you went on this overpriced Uni journey?
I’d say taking full advantage of the whole experience. At first everyone’s enjoying partying but then it can feel like you're doing what you need to get out. When in reality you should be taking advantage of the fact you have access to all of these different people who know lots of stuff that you don’t. You could be connecting with them and especially if you’re a creative you can use that time to work on your ideas, rather than just getting through the course work. I get it though, to an extent Uni feels like a waste of time. Then again, you get from it what you put in. If I was more prepared I could have got more money for my time.
Knowing what you do now about taking advantage of your current situation, how satisfied are you with your current work?
I’m not very satisfied. I don't think freelance life is for me. I like to have a schedule, somewhere to go to. Me in my day-to-day I try to mimic a job life, getting up at the same time, but it's difficult giving motivation to yourself. I'd rather be in a secure job doing what I want to be doing.
What, like a 9-5?
Maybe just having more of a consistent task, knowing this is the project. Not searching for projects and work.
Plus, a regular routine is always good. Can freelance life be isolating sometimes?
It 100% is. But when it comes to getting a random job it’s a bit of a balancing game. I don’t want to put too much of my energy and focus on things that won’t matter to me long-term. But money and routine are nice too. I’m considering it now, but it’s not an ideal to me, so I’m not focusing on it.
I understand, energy is precious so you want to put it into the right things. Gotta have time to rejuvenate too. When you were at Uni, did you feel like you needed a safe space to do this in, or did you find one?
I think my safe space was my bedroom.
So a safe space for you is somewhere you feel being comfortable by yourself rather than finding a group of like-minded people?
I think that would have been nice as well. But I’m naturally inclined to being alone, so that felt more natural to me.
Yep I’m the same, comfortable in both but solo time is easier. So, if you belong to a faith do you feel that it altered in any way as a result of your experience?
I’m a Christian, but I don’t go to church that often… or pray that often. I pray more now than I did at University. Since coming back I’ve become more religious.
Why do you think that is? Change in influence or lifestyle?
I’m not sure. I guess being away from family and home for a long time makes you more appreciative and reflective.
Reflecting now did you enjoy your experience overall?
Yea I did, the top three things were independence, meeting people I wouldn’t otherwise have meet, and doing things I couldn’t have otherwise done. I think I gained a lot of perspective and my ambitions changed. I’m thinking in a wider scope too.
What about post Uni, what are you enjoying the most?
It’s nice not to stress 24/7.
The stress is real.
Honestly it’s like a deadline, upon a deadline, upon another deadline. At least now I don’t feel like I’m constantly being measured.
In regard to stress how did you cope with that?
I like mediation.
What does that look like for you?
I think it’s called TM, transcendental meditation. I sit with my legs crossed, hands on knees, eyes closed and put a timer on for 20 minutes and just sit there.
Do you listen to anything or sit in silence?
Silence. If I’m in my room I try to reduce the noise as much as possible and open up the window, so if anything I’m just listening to outdoors.
Ok come through mental awareness. A lot of people have mentioned University blues. Is this something you can relate to, if so, what was your experience?
I think for me it looked like just lying in bed, no lectures on, not trying to go to any club nights or parties. Feeling a lack of purpose. Feeling quite lonely I guess.
That feeling of isolation, at Uni were there more intense periods?
I think the first wave came after first year died down. When there’s not so much work goingon, but more partying. You don’t really want to go to people with problems. So you’re just self-reflecting. Yeah sad boy hours.
There is a lot of expectation to be happy and social all the time. Sometimes we get lost in expectations, those we hold for ourselves and what we think others have for us. What advice would you give students on going to Uni filled with expectations?
Don’t rush your way through it. Especially if you’re doing a creative subject because that piece of paper isn’t gonna mean shit, so make use of the contacts and connections. It’s not a thing of “I finished Uni at 21 so I’m in a better position than someone whose 25.” It’s not that deep, it’s more about what you use those years for. It’s a marathon not a race.
PREACH, PREACHER… but would you contemplate going back?
Yeah I’m considering it, to do a masters in directing. If I can get into a solid film school that is.
Okay I see you, UK based or elsewhere?
I’m considering American ones but thinking about both.
Do you think there’s enough opportunities for black directors and scriptwriters in the UK? Or do we need to create more for ourselves?
It’s definitely important to make more home-grown experiences. But if you’re not the one in a position of power, there are other opportunities elsewhere. Go where you are appreciated, there’s no point suffering if you can find something better.
Why suffer!? Then you can bring that experience back home.
Yeah exactly.
As someone who is interested in film, what other black narratives would you like to see explored in filmography?
All kinds. Black films shouldn’t be a genre in itself. You’ve got love films, sci-fi, comedies and then you’ve got black films. Why can’t we have our black superhero films, black love films, comedies whatever. There are also these super high expectations for black films. You’re a black director so you have to make these amazing films because all the future generations of black filmmakers are relying on you. When how many superhero, epic movies and movie 43s do white filmmakers get to make? Why can’t we have our black superhero movie… yeah "Black Movie" that would be a sick parody film, maybe I should write that.
Let’s say there was a biopic about 25-year-old you, what’s * checks notes * Lakeith going to be up to?
Ahhhh I can’t reveal it.
It’s top secret?
When it gets to 25 I’m gonna look back at this interview and cry if I’m not there.
You might be somewhere better. Crying tears of happiness.
Yeah maybe! I’ll see this interview and remember what I was about to say and think ‘Yeahhh I know I’m past there’.
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See if Donell reaches his mystery quarter of a century goals by following him on social @deemermedia and @donellaj_
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