I met Jordan at Winchester University in 2016 where he lived in the same block as me. Much to his fortune we were also on the same course. But it was our similar taste in music, alcoholic beverages and food that united us. Four years later and for some reason he’s still here (I just can’t seem to shake him). Our meet ups mirror what first brought us together; concerts, restaurants, bars, and our ability to talk for days. This time the conversation focused on his University experience and life post-graduation. It would appear that the many reflective journals our tutors forced us to complete eventually paid off.
Were you excited with the thought of going to Uni?
For me I tried not to think about it that much because I was nervous. I was the first person in my family to go to Uni so I didn’t really know what to expect. It hit me the day that I moved there. I think I built a picture in my head of what it was gonna be like and it wasn’t like that.
Why? how did you imagine it to be?
I imagined I would get to my halls and immediately get on really well with all the people I lived with, and that there would be loads of stuff going on. It wasn’t really like that, clearly Skins lied to me quite a lot. But thinking about it now I was probably more prepared to attend than leave.
But I guess you can be emotionally prepared or financially prepared. It can be more than one thing.
Exactly, I think I was emotionally prepared to start Uni because I’d just come out and yes I had an amazing group of friends with me at home, but I was also ready to leave and meet new people. I was literally itching for it.
Longing for it.
Dying for it.
Yeah and I think with finishing Uni, it’s really hard to feel prepared. People are doing so many different things ya’know. Grad schemes or going straight into work, which I don’t really agree with, or some people take a year off to travel. At least when you go to Uni you know that you’re gonna get there, meet people and go to the lectures. But when you leave anything could happen.
So wait, you don’t think people should go straight into work?
As in "career", just have some time off. I needed it come the end of Uni. The way third year treated me was not very nice.
Forreal, it beat us all up.
It really did! I think that if you don’t have that time to relax and recuperate and you go straight into a job you don’t appreciate it as much. I worked in a hospital for a year, and it’s not what I wanted to do but the pay and hours were good. It’s made me appreciate my job now because whenever I’m having a bad day at work I reflect and feel happy that I’m not at that particular 9-5. A lot of the time you can jump straight into a graduate job and find you don’t like it. So just have some time out, you’re so young, use that time to do something for yourself.
I do agree it’s healthy to have a break. But it’s also a privilege to not work or take time off after University.
I kinda meant get one still, but you don’t have to jump straight in. I didn’t work for a month and it made me depressed not having money and a routine. Maybe even just go back to your pre-uni job and get the money, and then when you’re ready get your "career" job. Give yourself time.
Money can be an incredibly stressful aspect both during and after University. Did you work whilst you were studying?
Yep, I worked at a café called Josies. It worked because of the early hours, so I knew I’d never be at work too late when studying. Also the people who worked there were young, so I thought it would be a nice way to meet new people. I think I enjoyed it more during those summer months, because even though I worked everyday I still had more time to myself without Uni in the background.
Did you feel like you needed to work?
I did yeah, because my student loan went on rent and Uni necessities. To be honest I’m also awful with money so I knew I’d need a job. The pay wasn’t even that good but at least I was being proactive.
Did it come as a useful distraction from studying?
Not really, when I was at work I would worry that I should be using that time to do my assignments. It was quite stressful at work sometimes, so it wasn’t somewhere I could go and forget about other things. I’d come back after a shit day at work and be like "Ohhhh BRILLIANT I’ve got all this work to do". I guess I was distracting myself with a different stress.
University was the birthplace of stress. I recall us having conversations about moving somewhere that didn't make us feel like 'The Other'. How did you find being a minority in this new place?
At the start I didn’t feel any different. But once I started settling in I noticed little things. I think being gay was difficult because when you go to a bigger city, you feel like you have the whole world on your doorstep. At my Uni there were like five gay people in my year. My close friends that I lived with all had partners and I didn’t. It was hard to meet people. I was never the victim of any abuse, but I was the first non-white person this girl had ever met, and the first gay person too. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable but it made me think differently.
Ah yes being someone’s first usually comes with a lot of questions. Did she ask you any?
She mainly asked me a few about being gay. Just the stuff that I’m used to like “Have you ever been with a girl?” and “How did you know?’. You know that there’s no mal-intent behind it, but it can get tiring. You already have the answer in your head because you have to say it so much. Sometimes you have to be the person to educate them because otherwise they might go out with an opinion that isn’t fair.
Do you have any advice for students going to University, namely someone whose gay or a person of colour?
I think you have to be prepared to meet people who don’t think the same as you. Some people wouldn’t have had the same experiences as you, so they’ll talk ignorantly. You should always stand up for yourself, there’s so many times someone’s said something harmless and it's upset me and I wish I said something about. Don’t ever dampen your own light just because you think it’ll make someone else feel more comfortable. Just be unapologetically you.
Stay it louder for the people in the back!
Looking back a year post graduation, how do you feel you’ve developed as a result of your time at University?
I think the classic things, like being independent. I think I learnt how to deal with anxiety better. You may know a few people already but ultimately you’re alone, you have to put yourself out there. I now have better judgement, and I’m more analytical and organised. When I was 18 I didn’t care, I was just getting drunk at the weekends. It showed me that you have to work hard to get what you want out of life. That’s the biggest thing it taught me.
We’ve gone through the University experience, but then there’s the moving home. A lot of people struggle because University was a place for them to feel free and perhaps more expressive. There can be a shift in dynamics and freedom. How are you finding it?
It is a struggle I’m not gonna lie. Living with my friends and being around the corner from them was amazing, so was not having someone breathe down my neck. My mum's a lovely person, I love her, but it is hard going back to rules you had when you were 18 as opposed to when you’re 22. My circumstance is quite different because I only live with one of my parents and my mum and I are so similar, so we get on top of each other really easily. We’ll have arguments when she moves things in my room. It drives me crazy because there’s no privacy. I’ll say “Imagine if I went through your stuff” and she kicks off. I can switch and turn into a horrible person.
Like a gremlin.
Exactly, like a gremlin!
I just like things the way I like them. That has been a massive struggle and it’s going to be for another two years or until I can afford a house soooo... we’ll just have to accept it.
Speaking of cash money, do you feel your degree was a waste of time or money?
Not a waste of time, definitely a waste of money. But a lot of my best memories at University were in my house with friends, not when I’m sat in a lecture, so I’m glad I paid to live on campus.
No lie detected.
I do regret that where we went was expensive. I feel that with a lot of creative subjects you don’t necessarily need a degree in it. I mean it depends, if you’re studying architecture of course you do. In fashion most places want you to have a degree now. But, did Donatella Versace go to University? Do you know what I mean? Now that I’ve started working I don’t use anything in my degree, it definitely widened my knowledge but not with things that I do day-to-day. Time no, money yes. If it was free I’d be really happy about it, but unfortunately it’s not, that’s why we needed Jeremy [Corybn] to win.
Well, now that you’re a working man, has your previous expectation of a graduate job been fulfilled?
It has been different to what I thought it was gonna be, like the amount of commitment that you have to put in, you have to be really passionate because at the end of the day you spend more time at work than anywhere else. There’s a difference between people who live to work and those who work to live. I want to be someone who lives to work, who really enjoys their job. I mean I have a certain level of privilege to achieve this though.
Do you have any parting advice for students en route University that you wish you had yourself?
When looking at Uni's make sure you have reasons to attend. I didn’t, I just knew that I wanted to go. So, make sure you research, visit, and talk to people who have studied there, not just about the course but the opportunities and social aspects. People ask me why did you go there? One thing was the course, but I don’t think you can let that be the sole reason. You have to know the kind of person you are, I wish I said all of this to my younger self because I rushed into it and said yep I’ll go here!
Same, I stumbled into my course introduction because it was raining and I didn’t want to get my afro to get wet. Could be destiny, who knows.
I mean perfect story there.
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